My mother wisely warned me that it might not be so easy readjusting to life back at home after my 10 days of ‘freedom’ and after the delight at seeing my family again it has been an odd few weeks.
During my trip to the US I had met people who, seemed to me, were really living out the implications of following Jesus in their lives and were finding ways to impact others. While this was inspiring it was also unsettling. There was a nagging feeling of ‘I wanted to do that once but look at me now!’
I was reminded of my passion for simple living in my twenties and returned to my family where my 12 year old feels he is deeply deprived because he doesn’t have a Nintendo 3DS and my 6 year old daughter sits watching the adverts with a constant commentary of “I want that, I want that”. (We do have two computers, two Nintendo’s, a Wii, an ipad and more toys than any child could play with – this is not a deprived household!!)
I came back full to bursting with ideas, experiences that whirred around my head that I couldn’t fully articulate. My instinct is always to grab an idea and run with it. It means that I am not good at letting ideas to settle and giving time to sift through for the gems. But this time I have to because I have no clarity; I sense a shift, that there are things that I am learning, but it is elusive, like a slippery fish that I can’t get hold of.
At the end of the week (12th June) we go on our annual trip to the Taize community in France. We will have a week there as a family and then I stay on for another weeks retreat. At Taize life slows down and prayer is the rhythm of the day. There will be time to play with ideas without feeling the need to instantly ‘implement’ them, to dream some dreams without rolling out a programme and maybe I will come back with some clarity.